I’ve always been fascinated with the emotion of fear. Fear is the most important emotion because fear is designed to protect us and help us survive. Am I safe? This is the foundational need for all humanity. Survival trumps anything else. If you do not feel safe, other needs become less important. Fear protects us from harm which keeps us safe.
Ironically, releasing this need for security and safety and accepting the unpredictability of life is a path to significant freedom from fear.
Many of our fears are either irrational or out of our control. This does not make this an illegitimate emotion, but it gives us an important perspective. If we can’t control it, isn’t our fear a waste of energy?
How many times have I feared my own success? I’ve sabotaged my own success because of the fear that if I write a successful, well-received book, I will then need to write another well-received book. It must be safer, then, to just not write a book at all.
Fear of failure keeps us from even beginning. Yet, the greatest creatives in history failed more often than not. It was their failures that made them great because they weren’t afraid of them. They’d write 20 bad songs just to write one good one. The one good one is really all that mattered to the masses, but it wouldn’t exist without the 20 failures.
We’ve been trained to fear failure because failure is embarrassing and vulnerable. I’ve known this feeling so often and I believe I’ve let it crush my creativity.
Early in college I aspired to become a filmmaker/videographer. I created a fair number of videos that were in many ways complete failures. I received some considerable negative social feedback that destroyed my willingness to continue creating.
Through the process of creating those videos, I, in fact, created some snippets of beautiful art. A friend of mine reminded me after one of my most public failures that Abraham Lincoln failed as a business owner before he became the successful and brave politician.
Fear holds us back. It keeps us from being bold. It keeps us from being innovative. It stops us from challenging the status quo.
I’m not a master of fear. I’m actually the master at avoiding my fears through procrastination and distraction.
Challenge your fears. Leave your door unlocked and notice that nothing has changed when you return home. Be bold with a co-worker and see how your confidence produces positive change.
Not only are many of our fears irrational, they are also not life-threatening. Noticing this can bring down the walls you put up to protect yourself and open yourself up to new possibilities.
One great place to practice this in through public speaking. Join a Toastmasters club and give regular speeches. Public speaking forces us to face fear and develop resilience. Toastmasters creates a safe environment to grapple with those fears of other’s perceptions, failure, and inadequacy.
The fear of inadequacy is one of the reasons I even write blogs. I know I need to improve my writing and my communication. I know my content needs to be world-class if I am to accomplish my long-term goals. The only way I can get there is to just do it. Be inadequate and learn from my mistakes. Practice and fail. Practice and fail.
Fear fascinates me because I know it holds me back. I know it leads me to avoid my passions. I know it leads me to have irrational anxiety. The greatest opportunities are likely created in the presence of your greatest fears and deepest wounds. Fear is not only our most important emotion, but our most important opportunity for growth and progress.