Over the past 10 years, I have spent a substantial amount of time “on stage.” From drama productions, music performances, classroom teaching, and various speaking opportunities, life in front of an audience has become quite normal for me. These various experiences lead me to feel very at home in front of people, but it has also caused me to question why I desire to be in that space and whether I should even keep pursuing public performance. There are many common traits among successful performers, but many of these traits that lead them to step out on the stage can be psychological traps that have the potential to do considerable harm.
1. Perfectionism
I have never given a perfect speech or had a perfect musical performance and I never will. You have no idea how hard it is for me to accept that truth. I want perfection every time. Fortunately, this trait bodes quite well for the performer. Artists like Beyonce, Shakira, and Taylor Swift are extreme perfectionists. This is one of the reasons they are on the top of their profession. The dark side? They are plagued, as many artists are, by the feeling of “not being good enough.” If only perfection could be reached, then everything would be okay. This self-conscious belief drives achievement, but leaves an emptiness with it.
2. Desire for Attention
There is a fairly high correlation between being the youngest in a family and desiring to be in front of people. Being a comedian, musician, keynote speaker, and even a teacher is fairly common for the youngest in the family. After years of desperately trying to get their families to pay attention to them and acknowledge that they exist (I’m exaggerating. Can you tell that I am the youngest?), they realize the only way to be heard is to make people listen. How do you make people pay attention to you? Get up on stage. Everyone will watch you.
This desire for attention doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You might actually have something good and worthwhile to share that the world needs to hear. This deep desire to be heard brings those ideas to the masses. The trap is that desiring attention has all sorts of pitfalls. You can seek attention in the wrong way or selfishly bring attention back to yourself when it really should be on someone else. This list could really go on and on.
3. Need for Admiration
The need for admiration ties in strongly with perfectionism and the desire for attention. At its core is the feeling of not being good enough. How do I prove myself to be worthy? Draw attention to myself and receive acceptance and adoration from others. The clear dark side here is that you are only worth something if others place value in you or your message. If not, they validate what you already know that you’re “not good enough.” Every human has a deep desire to be accepted and loved by others. We want to receive praise because it feels so good to be validated for our efforts.
What a trap!!! When we look to others to find value in ourselves, we’re setting ourselves up for a major disappointment. Not everyone is going to love what you have to say, what your music sounds like, or who you are as a person. Relying on others for our own self-worth can have a devastating effect.
4. High Sensitivity
Many performers and creatives happen to also be highly sensitive people. Yes, this is a psychological term. Highly sensitive people tend to be more in tune with the details which makes them great authors, musicians, and performers. This puts them at a great advantage creatively. However, it comes at a cost. Their high sensitivity can lead to perfectionism and constant overwhelm. A subtle criticism that may go unnoticed by some will not only be noticed, but also be overanalyzed and dissected causing significant mental turmoil. Receiving too much praise is overwhelming, but receiving none at all makes them feel like a failure. All of it will be noticed and analyzed at an intense level.
This intensity of living can lead to some incredibly deep and moving art and performances, but it doesn’t always come easy. The psychological struggle is very real especially if it is not well understood by the individual.
5. Hubris
As Voltaire said, “With great power come great responsibility.” Those who find themselves in front of an audience with a long list of successes could become excessively proud. Everyone listens and pays attention to me, I must be important. Stepping out on stage requires a certain level of self-confidence especially to do it at a professional level. This self-confidence can very easily teeter on the brink of hubris and conceit. This trap seems to be at odds with the others. If the performer often struggles with self-worth issues, wouldn’t it be great if they thought they were better than everyone else. Then, they would know they were “good enough.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work that way. Hubris leads to bad decision making and a sense of infallibility. Worst of all it puts self above everything else from God to others to morality.
Conclusion
After reading this, you might wonder if all performers are on the brink of psychological disaster. The answer is probably yes and no all at the same time. The truth is many performers learn to navigate these traps and the many others just fine. It isn’t always easy, but it also isn’t unbearable. For many reasons, they love what they do which is what drew them to the stage in the first place. But please know, it isn’t always easy or fun to work through these traps.
Do these psychological traps ring true to you? Are there any that I missed? Let me know in the comments below.