I’ll be the first to admit. I’m not always the happiest person. The fictional characters I feel most connected to? Eeyore and Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. I might not be a master of evil and I might not have tail attachment issues, but something about these characters just makes me feel at-home.
If you want to be habitually unhappy (like me,) find subtle ways to sabotage joy. Learn how to suck the fun out of everything. In short, practice the art of (un)joy.
1. Find the dark side to everything.
There is always something negative about everything. Find that negative and exploit it. This is the best way to take away joy.
- Finally find your lost keys, respond like Eeyore would, “Most likely lose it again, anyway.”
- Always take interactions with others in the worst possible way. Channel a young Darth Vader and his motto, “If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy.”
- Receive a nice gift from a friend? It could give you joy, but don’t dare allow that. Respond like Eeyore when receiving a beautiful red balloon for a tail, “Sure is a cheerful color. Guess I’ll have to get used to it.”
I can guarantee that the more you look for the dark side in everything, the more you will find it. Remember, practice makes perfect.
2. Never be content
Great joy can be found in contentment. You don’t want that of course. Always be looking for reasons to be unhappy with your achievements and what you have. This will certainly lead to (un)joy.
- Anakin can guide the way here as well. “I want more, but I know I shouldn’t.” Ignore that uncertainty. You want more and you should get it. Never settle for less. Remember it’s lonely at the top. Only then can you become a master of (un)joy.
- Self-deprecation does a great job at stopping contentment. If you’re not good enough, you never have to be content or joyful. Remember Eeyore’s words when receiving a fluffy tail from Kanga, “It’s an awful nice tail, Kanga. Much nicer than the rest of me.”
3. Start your day off the right way
If you are to be a killjoy, you need to start your day off right.
- If someone says, “Good morning!” Respond like Eeyore, “If it is a good morning, which I doubt.” You have to let everyone around you know that no joy will be found here today.
- Remember what Yoda taught Anakin. If fear leads to anger, anger to hate, and hate to suffering, use that to your advantage. Start your days with a good dose of fear. That should do just the trick to be ready to take the fun out of everything. Pass that fear on to as many people as possible.
I’m sure there are many other ways to pass along (un)joy. Make sure to pass along in the comments your best tricks to sabotaging joy so we can all grow together.
Author’s Note: Why take on such a satirical post? In many ways, I’m forcing myself to make fun of myself and stop taking myself so seriously. I know I’m 100% guilty of taking the fun out of life at times. My deeply analytical and critical brain often leads me to focus on the darker side of life. Finding joy hasn’t always been as easy. My focus recently has been the opposite of this post. I know how to take away joy as well as a dementor from the Harry Potter series. I don’t need more practice at doing that. Instead of killing joy, I want to be the chocolate-a ray of hope, happiness, and, of course, joy.